Life Update: Learning to embrace the change and discovering Moonology.

I’d like to think I have been quite honest that the last 10 months since I became a mum of 4 have been pretty up and down. There have been times when I’ve felt like I’m drowning under the enormity of raising 4 beautiful little souls. Times when I’ve felt as if life just won’t let me catch my breath, I can’t catch up, I can’t get on top of things, I’m trapped in a permanent state of chasing my tail. Then back in January our house which had been on the market for quite a few months sold, it caught me totally off guard and my initial reaction was: oh no I can’t deal with this right now, it’s not the right time!! But after taking a couple of weeks to get my head around it and us finding another house which ticks sooo many boxes for our whole family I realised it’s actually the perfect time. I honestly believe the universe is screaming at me “embrace the change”. It’s strange but I think when we are open to it the universe has a way of putting us right where we’re meant to be. Following on from all the house stuff we got the amazing news that our eldest had got a place at his first choice secondary school. We didn’t think he’d get in as we don’t live in catchment but now he gets to go with all his friends, and the school is incredibly close to the new house so he will be able to walk. There goes the universe slotting things into place again.


So in the next few months we will pack up our home; the first house we ever owned, we moved in with a toddler coming up for 3 and a 6 month old baby. 8 years later and we are leaving with a soon to be 11 year old, an 8 year old, a 2 and half year old and a will be 1 year old. This house has seen me go from a 25 year old mum of 2 boys buying a house with her ‘boyfriend’ to a 33 year old married mum of 4, with a first class degree. I have grown up, I have achieved so many things in this house, I have made so many beautiful memories in this home. But I’ve realised I’m ready to move forward, I’m ready to move onto our next house and make it our home. Life is a journey, and you can’t be afraid to walk along the road, to move forward, to live it. Fear holds us back, it stops us from taking opportunities, from enjoying the moment, from embracing new experiences. I so often find myself reminiscing about the past, longing for the days when the boys were little again, worrying that time is passing too quickly. The truth is the tides will come in and go out and there’s no stopping that.

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So I’m making a conscious decision to stop where I am and experience my life as it is right now, to look around me and to embrace the experience of what I have, of who I’m with and of where I am. I have recently read an amazing book which has really made me examine myself, my hopes and dreams, and reminded me I am in control of my own life. The book is called ‘Moonology’ and it’s by Yasmin Boland. It teaches you how to live your life in sync with the moon and her phases and how by doing so can enable you to take your life where you want it to go and achieve your dreams. I think sometimes there are certain topics which just connect with you; I personally have always been fascinated with the Moon and how she impacts on our lives. This won’t be for everyone I totally get that but if you have an interest in the moon or astrology I would recommend ‘Moonology’ I have found it incredibly empowering. Interestingly one of the things is tells you is that if a full moon falls on your birthday the year ahead will be one of transition. The next full moon falls on my birthday; I can already see a year full of transition and changes in many aspects of my life and I’m getting ready to embrace them.

Charlie xx

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A letter to my Husband: What I really mean when I say my day was ‘Fine’.

A Letter to my Husband.

I have been so looking forward to you getting home from work, I have been desperately watching the clock and clinging to the fact that I am only a few hours away from another pair of hands to grab an offspring and change it, or wipe it or reason with it. Only a few hours away from a voice that doesn’t produce a constant rendition of a Moana song or want to have an in-depth discussion about ‘Clash of Clans’ or ‘Fortnight’. And the first thing that lovely, sanity saving voice says to me is “how was your day?” And I find myself saying “fine” but what I actually want to say is that from the moment since our 4 children sweetly waved you off to work from the window (yes they actually do that, dad win right there!) is that it’s been really bloody hard work.

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The toddler has morphed into the slime monster; I have absolutely no idea how one little nose can produce so much snot!!! But it has and its bloody everywhere. His entire face is plastered in it, along with his little hands whose sole purpose have become to disperse as much of the snot slime as possible onto me. It’s now in my hair, my clothes, its inside my bra (yes the toddlers hands venture down there regularly) and I’m pretty sure I got some in my mouth. I find myself recoiling as my once cute toddler runs at me; unsure whether to interpreted his advances as an act of love or a declaration in slime-snot warfare, which I’ll lose.

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The baby, you remember the baby, currently better known in our house as the sleep-thief. The packaging on this one remains intact, utterly adorable but beneath that exterior is a demon baby sucking the life out of me. I know you can’t see it, her well timed ability to babble “dada” has blinded you but despite her all night antics she apparently doesn’t feel the need to catch up on sleep during the day either. The baby sleep-thief ninja refuses to nap!! Instead she crawls around the sitting room in a fog of neurotic exhaustion, falling over nothing and crashing into everything. This morning she climbed up onto the toddler’s toy bus and managed to epically face-plant off it onto the carpet, cutting her little lip. Cue blood pouring from her mouth, hysterical screaming and me feeling a totally shit mum because yes I was looking at my phone when it happened.

When the time comes to pick the big 2 up from school I’m late, always late. Dodging around the good parents coming towards me who have already collected their children. What part of seeing a crazy mother, running along pushing a double buggy doesn’t make you want to get out of the way people?? Second son comes out covered in plasters, I think the current record in one day is 8!! Seriously kid you managed to require 8 separate plasters in one day, I’m pretty sure the school are going to start invoicing me. The other child doesn’t come out at all, at least not for hours (feels like it!!)

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In amongst all the child-raising I mustered the effort to make myself some healthy porridge for breakfast in a sad little bid to be a bit healthier and lose that suborn last bit of baby weight. However I’m pretty sure any good was cancelled out by the 8 ginger nuts and entire ‘sharer’ size packet of minstrels I have since consumed!! Also slightly off topic but I think we may need to remove all the mirrors from our house because there is some tired, old, grumpy looking hag who keeps appearing in them and she is freaking me the hell out!!

So that’s it that’s my day. That’s what I mean when I say ‘fine’, how was your day? xx