You can Cope. You Have to.

So I’m walking back to the car after a very dramatic school run this morning; (I won’t go into details but trust me there were tears and bumps and all sorts) with a very close friend of mine who I turned to and said “there’s too much shit going on, I can’t cope!” “Yes you can! You have to!!” Her reply was brutal and exactly what I needed to hear! Because she’s 100% right, I’m a mum to 4 little people and they are counting on me. I chose them they didn’t choose me and right now I’m in the driving seat of their lives. My actions have an enormous impact on their lives now and in the future. Now I know that that in itself sounds pretty overwhelming but I really feel like we should see our role as a gift rather than let it overwhelm us. Becoming a mother whatever your journey is tough; you change immeasurably from the woman you were and there’s a reason for that. It makes you tough. I bet if you stop and look back at the years you have spent as a mother whether it’s 1 or 20 you have coped and overcome things you wouldn’t have believed possible. You are so much stronger and more capable than you realise.

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The boy’s old headmaster used to talk about resilience in their assemblies all the time; it became a bit of joke actually that he never spoke about anything else. But you know what he was spot on. Resilience is so bloody important and if our children can learn it I honestly think it will become one of their most treasured tools. Because life is hard. It beats you down and makes you feel like shit sometimes. And as much as we would like to make the world a happy beautiful place all the time for our children that simply isn’t possible. If we truly want our children to go out and experience the wonders of this world we have to accept that they are going to come up against challenges, they are going to encounter mean people and they are going to get knocked down sometimes. But if we can instil in them that they are strong and they can get back up they will live a far happier life. And as John Lennon said that’s the whole point right? To be happy.

So when it feels like life is screwing you over take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are strong and you can cope. Curling up into a ball and falling apart just isn’t an option. This is your life and you deserve to be happy, and your children deserve to have a happy mum. Stick on a song that makes you feel good (anyone else got ‘This is me’ on repeat??) and remind yourself that you are a mother; in other words you are a badass queen who brought life into this world and you can handle any crap that gets thrown at you!!

Charlie xx

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Life Update: Learning to embrace the change and discovering Moonology.

I’d like to think I have been quite honest that the last 10 months since I became a mum of 4 have been pretty up and down. There have been times when I’ve felt like I’m drowning under the enormity of raising 4 beautiful little souls. Times when I’ve felt as if life just won’t let me catch my breath, I can’t catch up, I can’t get on top of things, I’m trapped in a permanent state of chasing my tail. Then back in January our house which had been on the market for quite a few months sold, it caught me totally off guard and my initial reaction was: oh no I can’t deal with this right now, it’s not the right time!! But after taking a couple of weeks to get my head around it and us finding another house which ticks sooo many boxes for our whole family I realised it’s actually the perfect time. I honestly believe the universe is screaming at me “embrace the change”. It’s strange but I think when we are open to it the universe has a way of putting us right where we’re meant to be. Following on from all the house stuff we got the amazing news that our eldest had got a place at his first choice secondary school. We didn’t think he’d get in as we don’t live in catchment but now he gets to go with all his friends, and the school is incredibly close to the new house so he will be able to walk. There goes the universe slotting things into place again.


So in the next few months we will pack up our home; the first house we ever owned, we moved in with a toddler coming up for 3 and a 6 month old baby. 8 years later and we are leaving with a soon to be 11 year old, an 8 year old, a 2 and half year old and a will be 1 year old. This house has seen me go from a 25 year old mum of 2 boys buying a house with her ‘boyfriend’ to a 33 year old married mum of 4, with a first class degree. I have grown up, I have achieved so many things in this house, I have made so many beautiful memories in this home. But I’ve realised I’m ready to move forward, I’m ready to move onto our next house and make it our home. Life is a journey, and you can’t be afraid to walk along the road, to move forward, to live it. Fear holds us back, it stops us from taking opportunities, from enjoying the moment, from embracing new experiences. I so often find myself reminiscing about the past, longing for the days when the boys were little again, worrying that time is passing too quickly. The truth is the tides will come in and go out and there’s no stopping that.

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So I’m making a conscious decision to stop where I am and experience my life as it is right now, to look around me and to embrace the experience of what I have, of who I’m with and of where I am. I have recently read an amazing book which has really made me examine myself, my hopes and dreams, and reminded me I am in control of my own life. The book is called ‘Moonology’ and it’s by Yasmin Boland. It teaches you how to live your life in sync with the moon and her phases and how by doing so can enable you to take your life where you want it to go and achieve your dreams. I think sometimes there are certain topics which just connect with you; I personally have always been fascinated with the Moon and how she impacts on our lives. This won’t be for everyone I totally get that but if you have an interest in the moon or astrology I would recommend ‘Moonology’ I have found it incredibly empowering. Interestingly one of the things is tells you is that if a full moon falls on your birthday the year ahead will be one of transition. The next full moon falls on my birthday; I can already see a year full of transition and changes in many aspects of my life and I’m getting ready to embrace them.

Charlie xx