Can I hit the pause button?

Can someone else be the parent? Just for the day? Does anyone else ever feel like they need someone else to take over, hold the reins?? Maybe it’s the fact that in a few days it’ll be May, the month before baby is due and I become a mum of 4 and it all just got a bit real. Maybe it’s because life feels a bit complicated at the moment; this week has been kind of a rollercoaster. Or maybe it’s just down to crazy lady pregnancy hormones which I am full of; one minuet I’m snorting (yep full on pig-snorts) with laughter the next I’m trying not to cry into my chocolate milk!! But I find myself searching around for a parenthood pause button. I just want someone else to take over.

 

The thing that makes this so ridiculous is that I’m a total clingy, control-freak of a mother. I find it almost impossible to let anyone else do stuff with my children, their dad has to pretty much fight me off to get a look in. If I do leave them which is rare I’m pining for them after about an hour. (I know trust me I want to punch myself in the head too!!) I think I have a fear of missing out on something and I worry that no-one else will else will look after them the way I do. The problem is I’m not sure I’m doing that great a job right now, hence my desire to hit the pause button. I’m tired, being 32 weeks pregnant with a 17 month old is hard, and my little body is feeling it!! Truthfully there is this little bitch sat on my shoulder dripping self-doubt into my head. Because if I’m not managing now, how the hell am I going to cope with 4?? I don’t want things to slip through the cracks. I don’t want to be grumpy and negative, that’s so unfair on the boys.

That’s the thing about being a mum, there is no time-out, no pause button, no off switch. It’s not a hat you chose to put on or take off. From the second your baby comes into this world you’re a mummy and that doesn’t ever stop. And while motherhood is wonderful and rewarding and provides you with an indescribable love; it’s also exhausting, overwhelming and at times suffocating. So what are we supposed to do when it all gets too much? I guess the first thing is to know that it’s alright to admit it. It’s not always easy to hold your hands up and say you need a break but it shouldn’t carry any judgement and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It doesn’t mean you love or adore your children any less. In fact (and I know I’ve said this before) looking after yourself makes you a better mum. You’re giving your children a happy, rested mum; they’ll enjoy you more and vice versa.

Screenshot_2016-10-16-20-36-23-1

I suppose the hard part is finding that ‘thing’ which you can do away from your children which makes you feel good. I know women for who work is their escape; where they find their sanity, for others its exercise and for lots of women I know they take refuge with their girlfriends when things get too much. If I’m being totally honest I haven’t figured out where mine lies yet (I’ll keep you posted). I guess what I’m saying is that as mums we should all take the time to figure out where it is we can recharge and have some seriously deserved me time. Remember this is about you and what makes you happy, you’re not looking for anyone else to validate what helps you. If it makes you happy, de-stressed and gives you the strength to get up in the morning a tackle motherhood like a boss then you bloody do it!! Enjoy the 3 day weekend mummies we have earned it.
Charlie x

Advertisements

Easter: A time for new beginnings, self-acceptance or just lots of chocolate?

Tonight the bunny will visit our house and leave out Easter eggs for my boys, who will wake up delirious with excitement and require a full military operation to stop them raiding all their chocolate before breakfast. The bunny also hides little eggs in the garden and the highlight of Easter Sunday morning has to be the insanely excited, if a little competitive (between the big boys) egg hunt in the garden. The boy’s scrambles for eggs are intermingled with questions of “do you think there are any more”, while I try to remember the top secret info the bunny passed me on exactly how many eggs there are and where they are hidden!easter1

So besides all the chocolate and the cuteness of baby animals popping up everywhere what does this Christian holiday mean to me? What I love about this time of year is the freshness, that inspiring feeling of new beginnings. I’m not really a believer in re-inventing yourself. We spend far too much time being critical of ourselves. I do, however, believe that we can learn to accept ourselves and in doing so make little changes which make us happy. A “new you” isn’t required, love you as you are now. Its OK not to be perfect; in fact that’s actually what makes you bloody brilliant. Accepting your faults is so uplifting and refreshing, and not to mention GOOD FOR YOU. easter2

There are so many things I suck at and wish I could do better, there are also so many things I wish I did full stop. But at the end of the day I wake up every morning and live. Some days I do really bloody well and other days I pull on my invisibility cloak and crawl through the day. And you know what that’s OK! If you want to make a change then go for it, find that self-belief however deep down it may be hidden and give something new a try. I saw a social-media post the other day which said “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I thought about that for a while and there are lots of things I don’t do or try because I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll fail or afraid of what other people will think of me. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, acknowledge your fear let it sit in the passenger seat but don’t let it drive your car.

As we walk along our path in life there will be lots of things we can’t change, or make better and accepting that can be incredibly difficult. Yet when we make peace with those things and let go of the anger or frustrations we may feel, we are actually making space for new solutions, acceptance and positive emotions. Life can be so full of pressure, worry and stress; and these things have such a detrimental effect on our mental and physical well-being. What we should take from Easter is to stop, smile and remember that life’s a gift. Don’t spend it worrying that your not good enough, don’t allow the superficial pressures of our society to weigh you down. Find what gives you joy, laugh and enjoy life with all its incredible imperfections.easter3

I really hope you all have a wonderful Easter; eat too much chocolate, get out in the sunshine, smell the flowers, smile and remember you are enough. Charlie xx