I really want to get back to this whole blog writing thing, so I thought why not kick things off by sharing some news I have been keeping (sort of) to myself……………Baby Holland number 4 is cooking!! Honestly writing baby number 4 gives me mild palpitations. I am very excited to be expecting another baby, although at the same time slightly terrified!! (totally normal right?)
I’m not sure how many of you will be surprised by this news but you might be wondering why go for number 4? Well there is quite a big gap between Ethan (no 2) and Archer (no 3), 6 years. Now the 2 older boys are incredibly close; they are without a doubt best friends, they share everything from their room to the hobbies to their secrets. Don’t get me wrong they still argue, Eb gets annoyed at Fin bossing him around and every now and then the brotherly love emotion boils over into full blown I’m going to wrestle you to death!! As a mum I feel incredibly blessed that they have such a great bond but at the same time I do worry that their relationship will only act to remind Archer what he doesn’t have.
I actually don’t think the greatest impact of Archer having or not having another sibling will be felt until he’s older. Right now it suits him down to the ground being the boss, I mean baby and having 2 big brothers to perform his every command!! I have no idea how Arch is going to react to having to share the limelight or his mummy when this baby comes along. The thing is, just as Archer is hitting the teenage years his big brothers will be at an age when they are likely to be heading out of the nest. So when Archer hits the age when his parents are ruining his life by asking how his day was, they’re who hes going to be stuck with. And I don’t want him to feel lonely during what for a lot of kids is a really hard, confusing time. I want him to have that confidant, that source of consolation and when things are really shit that person to beat the hell out of – all the things a sibling is.
There are of course all the worries that goes with having 4 children. My hubby is the practical one, he worries about finances and whether the car is big enough. You know ‘Man stuff’. We do have a 7 seater but he’s looking into mini-vans (I’m not driving a bloody mini-van and trying to park it!!) I’m not sure how many children he thinks we’re having, I promise I’m only cooking 1 and this is the last one!!
I’m worrying about whether or not each of our children will get the time and attention they need and deserve. Will the older 2 boys feel overlooked because of the all too obvious demands of a toddler and baby? But then when I’m panicking that my children will feel unloved and resent their noisy, hand-me-down, make do childhood I remember all the positives. I love watching my boys play together, I love watching them grow up and develop their characters. I love my home being full of laughter and that wholly unique and utterly insane perspective of the world which only children have. And for them; they will out-number us 2:1, they will always have the upper-hand!! Yes it’s hard and I’m pretty sure its about to get a whole lot harder but ultimately I love being a mum.
So my 3 beautiful boys are going to have to make space for one more sibling in the picture and in their lives.